Loves Me Not
by ForeverLilacLies
Summary: I watch him. I watch him as he cries and as his eyes fade in blindness I watch as I break his delicate heart and all I can do is walk away. DeiIta


**This is a short DeiIta oneshot from Deidara's point of view on how he feels about Itachi and how he reacts to Itachi's failing eyes and everthing in between and their relationship. This has NO connection to my other DeiIta story 'Angels'.**

I watch him....

I watch as he trains. Gracefully and beautifully as always. He trains alone as usual. Occasionally he'll train and spar with Kisame but not always. He enjoy the silence and the solitude. I watch him from my hiding place. Months ago I would have been afriad to hide from him because I knew he'd find me. His eyes would see me and I'd have to run in fear of him killing me.

But not anymore...

Itachi's eyes are failing him. At first it was hilarious. When he stumbled over something in plain view or actually fell, it was always me who would laugh the longest and the hardest.

But I don't laugh much anymore. Now I watch. Itachi stands facing the tree he had been throwing kunai at and he pause. Before I can hide Itachi turns and look toward me with his glazed dark eyes.

"Deidara?"

_Crap..._

"Yes Itachi, un?"

It's silent for a minute and Itachi regards me as best he can with his eyes. Finally Itachi gives me a tiny smile and my heart begings to flutter. He looks away from me and look into the forest still smiling softly.

"Would... you like to join me?" Itachi finally ask softly. I stare at him in surprise. Then I jump from the tree and land lightly on the ground. I walk toward him slowly and stop when I'm standing next to him. Itachi glances at me with unfocused eyes while I take in his looks. Itachi is shorter than I am. By about maybe two inches. He's also smaller than me in stature. Even I have more muscle than him. But he's still so strong. I watch him as he watch me. Itachi's eyes are so dead and glazed. I should be thrilled and I was...at first. But now I only feel empty. Like his eyes.

Itachi and I face eacother and I smile. I know this was just a trick to get me into the open. How are we suppose to spar when he can hardly even see?

"Do you need help un?" I ask softly. Itachi blushes and nods. I walk toward him and take him into my arms Itachi meets my gaze with a soft smile. Itachi doesn't need any help he just wanted me to hold him. And I am more than willing.

I don't know how long I've wanted to be with Itachi, maybe it was since the first time I looked into his hypnotic scarlet eyes. But I hide my want with hatred. Because I _do_ hate him. But at the same time I love him more than anything in the world. I place my hands on his waist and he hesitantly wraps his arms around my neck and pull up against me. We stand like that in silence for a long time. Then I take his chin and kiss him gently on the lips. Itachi nuzzles my throat and then the rain comes. It pours over our bodies and we quietly hold each other.

"We should go inside Deidara, you could catch a cold." Itachi murmured giving me a soft smile. I stick my tongue out at him and grin. I wrap my arms around Itachi's slender waist; and we head back up to the base.

-

2 Weeks Later

-

Itachi is now completely blind. Leader has found out. Kisame told him. I know Kisame didn't want to. He had grown fond of Itachi over the years. But he had no choice, Itachi had told Kisame to tell Leader. He knew what would happen, but he knew Leader needed to know. Leader was now in his office thinking. I was pacing the halls. Itachi had locked himself in his room. I stop outside his door and knock in it lightly. After a moment I feel someone fumbling around behind the door and it opens. Itachi stands at the entrance his hiar let loose over his shoulders his unseeing eyes looking for me. I take his hand in mine and bring it to my face gently kissing his palm. Itachi smiles at me tiredly and leads me into his room. He stumbles to his bed and we lay side by side. His hair is splayed around him like a fan and he tries desperately to meet my eyes.

"I-I can't see you." Itachi whispered softly. I kissed him tenderly.

"I know." I replied slowly. Itachi turns from me, his face drawn into a small frown. Then he kisses me back. I straddle his hips and kiss him deeply and lovingly. Itachi lets out a small moan of pleasure and my mind went blank. I'm soon undressing him and he undressses me with as much excitement. He pulls me into a sloppy kiss which, I enjoy greatly. I pull back and stare at his naked body lustfully. Then I glance up to meet Itachi's uncertain gaze. He reaches for me shakily and I kiss his fingers lovingly.

"Dei- god... Deidara please." Itachi mumbles with a small fragile voice.

_I'll do anything to ease your pain..._

I kiss and nip at Itachi's pale throat and his hands slip to my hair and grip it with his fingers clenched in anticipation. I spread his slender, pale legs with my arms and I nestle between them. I smile and shakily put my hand to Itachi's lips. I have much more expirience then he does with sex. I had been with Sasori until his death and the only person Itachi had come close to being sexual with was Kisame, and that was only because Kisame had walked in on him in the shower.

Lucky bastard.....

Itachi takes my fingers into his mouth and licks them with his pink tounge skillfully. When I pull out of his mouth and position myself and his opening I look at him.

"I promise I won't hurt you." I say it as I would speak an oath and Itachi nods. He believes me. My fingers streach him and he clings to me wincing slightly while I whisper comforting words into his ear. Then I place myself at his opening, ready. He smiles at me and nods. I gently begin to push into him. He winces and lets out a tiny whimper. I stop waiting until he is ready.

"M-Move." Itachi mumbles after a moment. I begin to thrust slowly at first then quicker. He bucks up to meet my thrusts eagerly.

_God I love him....._

Within minutes he comes soon followed by me and we lay panting and sweating. Itachi nuzzles my throat and sighs.

"I-I love you Deidara." He murmurs softly with a small blush. I sit up and stare at the Uchiha in shock. I would have _never_ thought Itachi would ever have feelings for me. I thought I was just a person who he could trust and talk to. But now he was staring at the ceiling blushing. He loved me back, he loved me and trusted me and let me get close to him. It could be a great chance to finally be with each other and never stop loving each other! I stare at him and then take a deep shaky breath.

"I...I...I don't love you back Itachi. I'm sorry." I stamper and stumble over my word. Itachi stares at me from where he lays. Then he turns over so his back is to me. I simply sit and stare at his pale bare back as he finally speaks.

"....Alirght then...th-that's all I needed to hear."

"Itachi." I murmur feeling my heart clench.

"It's fine Deidara." Itachi whispers back. I reach for him and tenderly touch his back. He flinches at the touch and his shoulders begin to shake.

"P-Please Deidara ju-just go." I hear him gasp out. I reach for him again but he pulls away sharply.

"GO!" He says sharply. I stand and look back at him sadly. Then without another word I walk out of the room closing the door behind me.

-

Deidara dies three days later.

**I know it's short and the ending is depressing but the reason Deidara lied and told Itachi he didn't love him was because he was afraid to get to close and hurt him or get himself hurt. I'll be working on my other stories which really need to be updated; but this idea just came to me and Voila! Here it is. Please review for the children and for the fandom and thank you for reading :) **


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